Staying Close to Loved Ones Who Live Far Away

It’s a reality many parents and grandparents face: loved ones moving away, perhaps for college, a career, or to start a new chapter. And while the space can feel daunting, maintaining those bonds is more achievable than ever.

a family gathering in the backyard

Family life can feel like a moving puzzle, and as time goes on, we often find the pieces a little more spread out across the world. Many parents and grandparents know this feeling all too well; just as they finally have more free time, their loved ones seem to scatter in every direction for careers, education, or new adventures. But staying close, even from afar , is more than possible. Here’s how you can bridge the distance with creativity, technology solutions, and a some good family habits.

The Challenge of Staying Connected with Family Across Distances

If you’re among those who feel the pang of sadness due to distance from family and friends, you’re not alone. A surprising number of older adults (over half in the US!) now find themselves miles away from children or grandchildren due to relocations, job changes, or school commitments. The good news is that technology and simple practices make it easier than ever to keep these relationships strong.

connecting older adults over a video call

Make Technology Your Best Friend: Tools and Tips for Virtual Connection

Let’s start with the communication technology solutions, an area where even the most resistant of us can find something to like. With a few digital tools, you can be as present in your family’s life as if you lived down the street.

Video Calls for Face-to-Face Connection

Video calls have transformed the way families stay in touch. We all became experts at using these during the pandemic, and now they can continue to be a part of our lives. Platforms like Zoom or FaceTime are popular for a reason: they’re easy to use and allow face-to-face connection, even across continents. If you’re not already using these, here’s a quick rundown.

  • Zoom is excellent for group calls with multiple family members, and it’s fairly simple to set up.
  • FaceTime is a great choice for iPhone and iPad users, offering excellent video quality.

Each of these tools is free for basic calls, and many libraries or community centers offer quick courses or tech help for anyone who needs a hand getting started. Video calls let you catch up on the small, everyday details of life—the best kind of connection. If you don't feel capable of using these apps on a day to day basis, there are easier to use versions from solutions like the GrandPad or Televisit.

Text Messaging Apps for Quick Updates

Quick updates can be just as satisfying as longer conversations, and messaging apps make this easy. Apps like WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and even regular text messages are perfect for sharing real-time moments. Messaging groups, in particular, are a great way to stay connected with multiple family members, sharing quick photos or memes, thoughts, or goodnight messages. These small interactions build a sense of presence, letting you feel involved in each other’s lives, despite the considerable distance.

a video call for families with older adults during the pandemic

Schedule Regular Connection Times to Keep Relationships Strong

Maintaining a regular routine of contact makes staying close easier. Scheduled catch-ups, whether they’re weekly video calls or monthly newsletters, become comforting rituals for both sides.

Weekly Video Call Routines with Family

Setting up a weekly or biweekly video call with family is one of the easiest ways to maintain a close relationship. Choose a time that works for everyone, especially if there are multiple time zones to consider. Sunday afternoons, for instance, can be a relaxing time for a family call. Knowing there’s a set time to reconnect can add something joyful to the week’s rhythm, and it’s a great way to share news, stories, and simply enjoy each other’s company.

Adding a bit of structure to the routine can make it more interesting over the long term and here are some ideas on what to talk about.

  • Highlight of the Week
    Each family member shares a positive moment or accomplishment from their week, no matter how big or small. This could be a new recipe they tried, a favorite TV show, a funny story, or a personal milestone. These small highlights add a bit of celebration and positivity to each call.
  • Memory Lane Stories
    Dedicate a part of the call to sharing family memories, especially stories that younger family members may not know. This can spark laughter, nostalgia, and even encourage a shared family history. If you’re feeling organized, you can rotate the “storyteller” each week to keep it fresh.
  • Show and Tell
    Embrace a virtual version of “show and tell,” where everyone brings an item to share with the group. This could be anything from a recent thrift find, a piece of art, a favorite book, or even a pet. It’s a simple way to share a bit more of your daily life with each other.
  • Trivia or Family Quiz
    Make a family trivia quiz with questions about family history, childhood memories, or fun facts about each person. This is an especially fun way to bond across generations, giving everyone a chance to learn more about each other as well as family history.
  • Theme Discussions
    Choose a different theme for each call, like “favorite movies,” “best vacations,” or “dream travel destinations.” Everyone can share a personal story or a favorite experience related to the theme, which keeps conversations engaging and gives each call a unique focus.
  • Recipe Swap and Food Talk
    If your family enjoys cooking or baking, try dedicating some time to discuss favorite recipes or recent dishes. You could even try cooking or baking a recipe together over video on special calls, adding to the fun to enjoy beyond conversation alone.

Monthly Family Newsletters

For families who enjoy storytelling or updates, a monthly family newsletter can be an enjoyable tradition. These can be as simple as an email with a few highlights from each person’s month or as creative as a full-fledged newsletter with photos and stories. You might take turns writing each “issue,” making it a special keepsake for everyone. Online templates or tools like Google Docs make it easy, and the result is a heartfelt record of family memories that can be treasured for years to come. One note - this approach definitely requires a "champion" to keep it alive, so make sure to think about that when getting started.

older woman writing a monthly newsletter

Send Thoughtful, Personal Mail to Maintain a Tangible Connection

In today's world, physical mail has a special kind of charm. Sending thoughtful cards, letters, and small packages can make the miles seem shorter, creating a real sense of closeness that even a video call can’t quite replicate. Plus, you can keep them afterwards, and the permanent, real memory can be read again in the future.

The Power of Handwritten Letters and Cards

Handwritten letters are a beautiful way to show you care. There’s something very personal about taking the time to sit down, pen in hand, and write a message that feels genuine and warm. You don’t have to save these for special occasions; a quick note to say “I’m thinking of you” or share a funny story from the week can mean a lot. Personalized cards are another option and can be kept as keepsakes that will likely be read and re-read over time.

Sending Printed Photos or Small Memory Books

Printed photos or small memory books can be a lovely way to send more than just words. Printing photos is as simple as uploading them to a site like Shutterfly or Snapfish, where you can create memory books, photo cards, or prints that can be mailed directly. Memory books with captions are especially fun to create and receive, providing little snapshots of the family’s life and preserving precious moments. It’s like sending a photo album that keeps growing over time, reminding loved ones of happy times shared.

an elderly woman reading a book

Explore Shared Hobbies or Projects to Stay Engaged Together

Finding shared activities that can be done remotely is a creative and fun way to stay connected with family members of all ages. From book clubs to cooking sessions, these joint projects provide a unique way to bridge the physical distance and create shared memories.

Create a Long-Distance Book Club with Family Members

Starting a family book club brings an ongoing sense of connection and common purpose. Choose a book that everyone can enjoy, set a date to discuss it each month, and use a video call to share your thoughts. This activity brings a regular point of contact and encourages meaningful conversations, especially if you pick a book that prompts discussion around shared interests or memories. Whether you love mysteries, memoirs, or family-friendly classics, a book club allows everyone to feel like they’re part of a shared experience.

Try Cooking or Baking the Same Recipe on a Video Call

Food has a way of bringing people together, even from afar. Plan a virtual cooking or baking session with your loved ones, choosing a recipe that everyone can make in their own kitchens. This could be a old family recipe or something entirely new. The rise of competition cooking shows on Netflix can give you inspiration for silly competitions, like everyone cooking their favorite tofu dish as they did in Culinary Class Wars. Best of all, you get to enjoy the same delicious meal “together,” even if it’s across miles.

older adults on a trip with suitcases and a map

Plan Occasional Visits to Strengthen Bonds in Person

While digital connections are invaluable, occasional in-person visits can deepen bonds, creating memories that sustain family relationships over time. Planning visits with intention can make these moments both meaningful and memorable.

Creating a Visit Schedule that Works for Everyone

If finances or health considerations make frequent travel challenging, a well-thought-out visit schedule can be a game-changer. Coordinate with family members to decide on visit dates that align with birthdays, holidays, or seasonal events. Even a short visit can be incredibly meaningful when planned around times that naturally lend themselves to family gatherings. Having a set time frame for these in-person visits also provides something to look forward to, adding a sense of anticipation and excitement to each family member’s calendar.

Making the Most of Each Visit

When you do meet in person, even a weekend trip can be a fun experience. Plan really simple activities that everyone enjoys, whether it’s a picnic, a walk in the park, or family game night. You might bring a notebook or a scrapbook where family members can write notes, record funny moments, or add pictures, creating a shared memory book to enjoy after the visit. These small efforts to make each visit special go a long way in keeping the connection strong.

older people having fun on a couch

Take Care of Your Emotional Well-being to Strengthen Your Bonds

Staying connected with family who live far away requires emotional strength. Finding ways to feel emotionally secure and supported makes long-distance connections more sustainable and fulfilling for everyone involved.

Managing Loneliness with a Support System

Distance from loved ones can lead to feelings of isolation, but building a support network where you live helps manage loneliness. Look for local senior centers, volunteer opportunities, or community groups that align with your interests. Many communities have clubs, classes, or regular events designed for retirees, providing not only a sense of belonging but also a way to engage in activities you enjoy. Finding a balance between staying involved locally and connecting with distant family creates a support system that enhances both physical and mental well-being.

Embracing the Positive Aspects of Independence

While distance can be challenging, it also offers a valuable opportunity to embrace independence and explore personal growth. With more time for yourself, it can be a fulfilling chapter to take up new hobbies, nurture friendships, adopt a pet, or spend time on interests that make you feel happy and engaged. This shift in perspective can foster a healthy balance between family relationships and self-reliance, making it easier to enjoy time together without relying solely on family for companionship.

Finding Joy in Staying Close, Even from Far Away

Staying close to loved ones, even across miles, becomes a source of joy and fulfillment when approached with intention and creativity. Regular communication, shared activities, and in-person visits can make a powerful difference. Combining new technology with thoughtful, time-honored traditions allows each interaction to feel meaningful, bridging the gap created by distance. With these ideas in practice, you’ll find that staying connected with family across the miles is not only possible but rewarding, keeping the bonds of love strong and alive.

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